2nd place in Derby #225: Australia, with 610 votes!

There was a time when no one had heard of Australia. Can you believe it? No Men At Work, no Mel Gibson, no kangaroos, no planking, not even a Steve Irwin! Australia was just a big empty space full of wildlife and native peoples and prisoners who are the wildlife and occasionally the native peoples as well.

But then! Something magical happened! And suddenly those criminals made a decent civilization with a crazy opera house! And the whole world turned its sleepy head to look at the funny shaped continent that had stolen its heart. Children laughed at the kangaroos! Grown men laughed at the funny guy stomping around talking about batteries! Australia had arrived!

But the fish knew what the pop culture icons had forgotten. The fish knew that fame is fleeting. And that one day, the ocean will reclaim it all.

Even Hugh Jackman. Sorry, Australia. That’s just how it works.

Wear this shirt: if you’re Prince Namor. It makes a bold statement about who’s really in charge of things.

Don’t wear this shirt: around your clumsy friend who might trip and spill oil all over the side of the print. Because he’ll offer to pay for the cleaning but then ask you if he can borrow some quarters so he doesn’t have to break a fifty and you know he isn’t going to ever pay you back.

This shirt tells the world: “Poor New Zealand. Always a bridesmaid, never a bride.”

We call this color: Black Mountain, located in the Canberra Nature Park.

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