We at Shirt.Woot would like to take this opportunity to apologize to anyone who finds today’s shirt title offensive.

When we decided to name the shirt “Captain Polly Hate Crackers”, naturally we were referring to the captain’s distaste for the baked goods! You know, tiny bready wafers made for dipping or holding spreads and meats! Haven’t you ever heard “Polly wanna cracker?” before? Well that’s what we’re playing off of! ‘Cause, see, the bird is clearly not a parrot, nor does he seem content with spending his life sitting on some pirate captain’s shoulder. So of course he hates the grain-flour-dough-made biscuits commonly known as “crackers”! There’s nothing to get upset over at all!

So to everyone out there who enjoyed the 1984 film Crackers starring Sean Penn, we’re sorry we weren’t more clear. We thought it was an easy connection to make. Next time we’ll know better.

Wear this shirt: when you’re in a fowl mood.

Don’t wear this shirt: if you’re feeling honky.

This shirt tells the world: “Hoist the mainsail! Batten down the hatches! Tweet the status to our followers!”

We call this color: The Grass Pirate Roberts

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