3rd Place in Derby #277: Caffeine, Guest Editor wootiewooterson's pick!

Bob has a problem. For the last 12 years he's been hopelessly addicted to stimulants. He's so far gone he cannot seem to function without his fix. The withdrawal pains are excruciating for him: headaches, tremors, disjointed thoughts, and increased sensitivity make it nearly impossible to quit cold turkey.

Bob's addiction has become so severe that he is using at work. A hit is relatively cheap, anywhere from $2 to $5, depending on the quality, yet a larger and larger portion of his money goes towards getting high as he builds a tolerance to its effects. Bob's family is either unaware or in denial, stating that he "seems to keep it together" and "doesn't do as much as some people."

Their avoidance of the issue staring them in the face only hurts Bob, as it undermines any motivation he might have to quit.

But it's only caffeine, so society's cool with it.

Wear this shirt: While sipping tea with your pinky out.

Don't wear this shirt: To your AA meeting.

This shirt tells the world: "You expect me to drink coffee or soda like some kind of pleb?"

We call this color: Caff-aholics Anavymous

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