3rd place in Derby #159: Road Trip, with 490 votes!

What other country has so many different, magical places and artifacts? A statue from France, a lighthouse from before the Civil War, a broken bell that still, and perhaps most strongly, symbolizes how we made the best of what other people threw away, the beautiful and giant trees, the deep and mysterious canyons, the gaudy pink birds, the sweet smelling flowers, all best when seen from an incredible live-in vehicle which was much, much cooler when gas was like a nickel per gallon.

But don’t mind that. Maybe you’ll walk, or bike, or maybe you’re just rich and can afford it. However you go, there’s a whole lot of beauty out there. Sure, you’re gonna find a couple jerks in every state, but on the whole, we’re all just Americans, aren’t we? And it doesn’t matter if you’re some fat guy in overalls or a beautiful girl with a parasol that for some reason looks like an eye… hey, hang on… waaaaait a minute, am I in the C.I.A. virtual reality machine again? I am, aren’t I? Aw, you guys. How many times am I gonna fall for this? Okay, fine, you got me. C’mon, open the chamber door.

Wear this shirt: when you go out to find… America. By which we mean cigarettes and a steak.

Don’t wear this shirt: and drive around waiting to tell some dudes on a motorcycle to get a haircut. Well, okay, maybe that part might be funny, but just don’t get super mad when they have a witty reply. The road is for sharing, you know.

This shirt tells the world: “Life’s just a Fitzgerald novel unfolding in front of us.”

We call this color: Hęvoŋlöövich Greymaũthŀýkin? Yeah, No. Guess What, Your Name’s Heather Grey Now. Sign Here.

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