We Always Knew This Was What It Meant
When we saw today’s shirt, it was as though great scales were lifted
from our eyes. For truly, this is the shirt that was foretold in the
quatrains of the great Nostradamus.
After great trouble for humanity, a greater one is prepared
among us could forget the most recent derby? How many people complained
that they hated the shirts, turning brother against brother?
the Great Mover renews the ages:
anagram for “great mover” is “Tag Remover”, which is an obvious
reference to what sensitive people do when they get a new shirt.
Rain, blood, milk, famine, steel and plague,
reflected in the colors. The blue of rain, the grey of steel, the white
of milk, the empty space of of famine, the yellow of plague. And the
first time you spill ketchup? It all falls into place!
in the heavens fire seen, a long spark running.
fire of a server melting down, unable to keep up with the long spark of
orders. Truly, this shirt is destined to sell out. Get yours now, while
there is still time, lest fate pass ye by!
This shirt was designed by: Our pal Jeff Sheldon, who came up with the idea while drinking hot chocolate with nutmeg. Lots and lots of nutmeg.
Wear this shirt: at the pre-ordained time. But then, you will have no choice, will you? All shall be as it always was meant to be.
Don’t wear this shirt:
to a meeting of the Young Non-PreDeterminists Club. But then, you will
have no choice, will you? All shall be as it always was meant to be.
This shirt tells the world: “I prefer to dress retro because hindsight is 20/20.”
We call this color: “The
false message about the rigged election/to run through the city
stopping the broken pact;/voices bought, chapel stained with blood,/the
Asphalt shirt at Woot, you should buy one.”
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