3rd Place in Derby #342: Historical Figures As Animals, with 170 votes!

One day when we finally have quantum physics figured out, it will reveal that the universe is nothing more than the idle play of a mischievous cat. Think about it: does anything really make sense at all? Can we really say with any certainty why ANYTHING happens? 

It can't be a dog. If the universe was controlled by a dog, things would be ridiculous but predictable. And the universe would have self-destructed long ago. A dog would get bored after a while and walk away. 

Cats don't get bored. They get dangerous. When a cat runs out of things to do, it finds other things to do, things you don't want it to do. It finds things to knock off shelves. It locates the exact place where the wallpaper is starting to peel. It manages to squeeze itself into the space behind the oven and not come out. And, unlike a dog, a cat don't feel bad about any of that, not even if you yell or scream, no matter how much you ignore it.

Doesn't that sound like our universe - painful, funny, unpredictable, dangerous? That's because it's all cats, guys. Everything is cats.

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