So similar in appearance, yet one is deadly and the other benign. Kinda like Billy and Alec Baldwin.

Pity the poor scarlet kingsnake. Its red-next-to-black bands mean it’s totally harmless, but it still gets scorned by snake-hating humans who can’t be bothered to learn a simple mnemonic rhyme. And its lack of venom leaves it at a severe disadvantage in its rare battles with the Eastern coral snake, the red-next-to-yellow assassin with the deadly venom. What’s a Lampropeltis triangulum elapsoides gotta do to catch a break around here?

Actually, we don’t know whether they ever fight in real life. But if not, just pretend the scarlet kingsnake slept with the Eastern coral snake’s wife. Snakes hate that.

This shirt was designed by: the mysterious Luke Wisner, who according to legend, was raised by a rogue band of snakes somewhere in darkest Appalachia. We’re not sure if they were kings or corals, so don’t get too close to him.

Wear this shirt: and keep telling yourself “Red next to Black is safe for Jack; Red next to Yellow will kill any fellow”, so you know which one is which in case anybody asks. Or in case a snake attacks you.

Don’t wear this shirt: around any ophidiophobes.

This shirt tells the world: “Two snakes enter! One snake leaves! And it’s always the same one!”

We call this color: Cranberry On Your Chest, You’re Underdressed.

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