1st place in Derby #229: Roleplaying in Everyday Life, with 880 votes!
Here we go, midnight central. Everybody roll for initiative. Thirteen or better and you can buy today. Oooo, sorry, Princess Daggerfist, unless you’ve got a Mouse Of Speed on that sheet… nope, trackpads don’t work, sorry. You gotta buy tomorrow at a +5 dollar penalty.
Okay, the rest of you… let’s see, Duke Johann Of Drow-tlanta, you’re up first. What’s your move? You’re going to post in the forums? Okay, well, be aware that’s pretty risky, and if you take too long you might miss your chance to buy. But if that’s what you want to do, get the d20 and… oh, very nice. Very, very nice. You’re getting a quality post for that one. Man, I’m impressed.
All righty, Maggoteye the Pirate. You’re gonna… buy three? Well, well, well! I’m not saying you can’t, I’m just saying you better roll well. 1d4. No, no, right here in the box, where we can see it. Yeah, sure, whatever, just roll it here. No, if I can’t see it, it doesn’t count. And you got… a one. Come on, it didn’t hit the other dice, are you kidding me? Okay, okay, fine, roll it again. Hey, look at that, still a one. Well, them’s the breaks. Maggoteye, just as you finish entering your details, the site goes down with a server issue. You can try again later this afternoon, or take the penalty with Princess Daggerfist.
Duke Johann, the forums are still up so you’re not affected! Roll a percentile please… wow, nice. Okay, you feel a cold chill and the room goes foggy, and suddenly, your post has been replied to by… Joel! Yeah, and he likes it, too! Suddenly you’ve got 1d6 sycophants on the forums… okay, Maggoteye, yes, I’ll let you post a link to Duke Johann’s Facebook page and gain 1d2 sycophants of your own. Duh, it’s called a coin, lame-o. Here, heads is one, tails is two. And you get… one. Man, it’s just not your night, is it?
No, your follower can’t be Travis. He’s an NPC now, don’t you remember?
Wear this shirt: because it takes too long to put on Full Dwarven Plate.
Don’t wear this shirt: if you’re REALLY going to be mad about having to imagine the pocket. Look, it’s called role-playing, okay? If you can make it happen with magic missile, you can make it happen with an imaginary pocket.
This shirt tells the world: “Funny enough, it also works on Athas!”
We call this color: Mordenkainen’s Enrobing Slate
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