2nd place in Derby #217: Hipster Animals, with 1002 votes!

Listen guys, I’m out of here. I mean, the Kingdom of Caring used to be cool, but I don’t know… It’s gotten kinda bro-y, like too many sports bars, you know? I mean, seriously, if I see another pair of wranglers, I’m gonna vom. No joke, I’m literally going to to vom all over everything. I mean, seriously, what happened to this town? The area code for this place used to be 510, but now everyone’s dialing 569, you know? Gross.

And I don’t mean to offend you guys, but I feel like I need some new company. I mean seriously, Bedtime Bear, I love you but c’mon, don’t try to talk to people about movies when you buy DVDs out of the supermarket bargain bin. And Cheer Bear, I appreciate your music suggestions, but really, Interpol? Did we go back in time to 2002 or something and I just didn’t notice?

So yeah, I’m moving to Brooklyn; that’s where I can find bears that really get me. Oh, and BTW, Funshine is done-shine. From now on, I’m Marq, with a q, not a c or a k. If you need anything, just @ me.

Wear this shirt: because it’ll give you Good Luck Bear.

Don’t wear this shirt: if you’re Grumpy Bear.

This shirt tells the world: “I’m a Champ Bear!”

We call this color: Slate… I mean, I used to read them until I learned they were started by Microsoft. Sent from my iPhone

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