Good morning, all, the day’s begun! I hope you’re planning something fun! I’m P.T. Toaster, here to serve! My command’s your every word! I’ve no desires but to please! Tell me if anything you need!

Help us, help us, help us please
It’s oh so hot, we cannot breathe
We’re trapped against those metal plates
With glowing coils against our face
We wanted only to be bread
Soft and warm, but now, instead-

Ha ha! Just pay them both no heed!
Your happiness is all we need!
Soon you’ll be crunching every crumb!
Just a bit longer, they’ll be mum!
So don’t you let their cries unnerve!
Enjoy me, I was built to serve!

Wear this shirt: when you’re talking over a reggae beat about the rude events in which you or someone you know has participated.

Don’t wear this shirt: in the bathtub. I don’t care what he did in “Groundhog Day”. Do you want to get yourself killed?

This shirt tells the world: “Warning: Filling May Be Hot.”

We call this color: If Your Toaster Appears Heather Gray You Might Want To Apply A Little Polish TO Make It Shiny Again

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