Curl two middle fingers into palm. Raise index and pinky. Lift hands in unison and make stabbing motion upward into air. Repeat.

Yeah, I saw Dirty Job open for Priest and Dokken in ‘86 at the Civic Auditorium. It was totally bitch. Jymmy had on that cheetah-print leotard with the spiked leather legwarmers, Mutt played the solo on “Bad Attitude, Good Times” with a scythe, Ron the bass player wore his glow-in-the-dark puffy hightops, and Darrik rocked the ass off that quadruple-bass-drum pedal. That night turned out to pretty much be the high point for them. Everybody always said they were just about to get a deal, but somehow it never happened. I still wear their t-shirt sometimes. I see Mutt every once in a while over at the Guitar Pit, when I’m in there buying strings or whatever. But when I tell him DJ should totally do a reunion show, he just kinda laughs.

This shirt was designed by: Franco-metalhead Jean-Baptiste Panos, proving once and for all that Frenchmen can rock, too. He says this shirt is a ““Tribute to the 80’s Heavy Metal bands who were touring the whole year, wearing latex pants, making incredible songs and incredible shows…” His blog is in French, but the pictures speak the universal language of awesome.

Wear this shirt: to that weird vacant lot behind the gas station where everybody hangs out.

Don’t wear this shirt: to the Nirvana show. They’ll laugh at you.

This shirt tells the world: “Metal or die? Why not both?”

We call this color: Black Hair Metal.

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