No, no, it’s cool, humans. I’ll just go ahead and sweep up after you and your filthy little mess. Why not? It’s not like I’m doing anything important like making oxygen for you to freakin’ breathe.

You know what? I think I ought to apologize. I mean, I can’t believe I had nerve to try and grow here. It’s so obvious to me now, especially considering the way you just throw your trash willy-nilly all over the ground around me. What a JERK I’ve been. I guess I’ve just been so busy providing housing for all these birds and woodland creatures to think about YOUR needs. Clearly, you needed this space to be a garbage dump.

So, yeah, don’t mind us. We’ll just handle all the clean up from now on. You just go back to being the lazy, uncaring, littering creators of “civilization” we in the forest have grown to know and love. And by “love”, we mean, curse the day you emerged from those caves millions of years ago.

Wear this shirt: and stare down the guy who just tossed a soda bottle on the ground in the park. Shake your fist for added effect.

Don’t wear this shirt: if you enjoy hating the Earth.

This shirt tells the world: “It’s only a matter of time before the trees learn how to use other tools and destroy us all. Just something to think about.”

We call this color: Please Recycle Red

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