Number 83, please walk NORMALLY to the desk.

Certainly I can get you a facsimile of that silly walk. All I need is a signed copy of ministerial form J101-B, which you can find on the table of forms behind you. Do not confuse it with forms J101-A nor J101-C, which have an entirely different purview. In order to complete J101-B, you must determine your expected annual silly walk allowance, or SWA. You can do so by completing worksheet E in the middle of form &&&W. Yes, that’s form ampersand ampersand ampersand double-you.

Once you’ve calculated your expected annual silly walk allowance, you will need to have an official annual silly walk allowance signed and notarized by a silly walk actuary. That would be Tim Burns today, and his office can be found at the end of the hall on your left, through the mezzanine, down the marble staircase. The marble staircase. Then just press your palm flat against the stone bearing the actuarial insignia, and let the floor rotate you into Tim’s office. Tell Tim I said hi and that we missed him at happy hour.

OK, when you get back to this office, I will be at lunch. In my stead will be two tall, nondescript men. One of the men will always tell the truth and one of the men will always lie. You must determine which man is telling the truth, and ask him where to deposit the signed, notarized, official silly walk allowance (or SWA). Godspeed.

Wear this shirt: Only in officially designated shirt-wearing zones
 
Don’t wear this shirt: While affixed to a street light
 
This shirt tells the world: “Silly walk, don’t silly run”
 
We call this color: Blackened Venezuelan Beaver Cheese

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