My momma said, to get things done, hurry and click the “I Want One”.

The funny thing about oxygen deprivation is that you don’t notice it at the end. You start out all worried and looking at the gauge and counting the seconds down but once you’re running on fumes, it really mellows you out.

Pretty soon you’re dancing with the stars, instead of obsessing over the final and complete death that is impossible to prevent now that your tether is no longer connected to your rocket. And what’s wrong with that? Not a thing! We all gotta go some day, after all. At least this way you’ll be exploring space forever, going to places that no other human has ever been.

And when aliens find your frozen, lifeless body, they’ll see that smile and know you were doing what you loved. Assuming they aren’t the sort of aliens who take smiling to be a threat on their lives. Those aliens will probably rip your corpse apart. But space is really big, so the odds are with you, right?

Wear this shirt: when you want to look out of this world, man! Or woman.

Don’t wear this shirt: if you’re a total space nazi. Wait, sorry, we don’t mean an actual nazi spaceman, we mean the sort of person who’d be upset that the distance between stars and planets are all wrong. Although now that we think about it we don’t really want nazi spacemen wearing our shirts.

This shirt tells the world: “Your husband said he loves you very much, but you know.”

We call this color: Freeze Dried Ice Creme

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