1st place in Derby #62: Panic!, with 937 votes!

You, you people, you’re really sick. Just look at how many of our current Reckoning shirts are about eating brains, for instance. Acquired Taste, If I Only Had A Brain, and Rule No. 1: Cardio are all cutified takes on the unimaginable horror of reanimated cannibalism.

But it's always been this way, hasn't it? You're still the same macabre degenerates who anointed this jelly-splattered horror as your very favorite shirt from Derby #62. What is wrong with you people? You see something cute and you must make it suffer? What kind of Law & Order: SVU crap is that? We’re sure you’re quiet folks, mostly keep to yourselves. But remind us never to let you cat-sit for us, OK?

Wear this shirt: to let those Krispy Kreme bastards know you’re not somebody to mess with.

Don’t wear this shirt: around us at breakfast time. Donuts are one of the few pleasures we have left. Don’t ruin it for us.

This shirt tells the world: “The pattern of injury clearly indicates that this wound was inflicted by a bear claw.”

We call this color: Cranberry Filling.

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