Finally a shirt that speaks to my deepest [weird, unreasonable] desire!
Life is tough for people like us. And by people like us, I mean people whose love for both sweet pastries and deadly forms of combat that originated in Feudal Japan can only be fully realized when we experience the two of them together.
Sure, I can do a Google image search for cinnamon twists in one half-screen-sized browser window and run a second search for pictures of Kamakura-era weaponry in another. In fact, I do this daily. And yeah, if I want to (which I do) I can cross my my eyes until the two images overlap forming the very picture of delicious death. But the fact of the matter is, when I search Ebay for “cinnamon roll ninja sword” I don’t get anything, and that makes me a very sad man.
Those of you who don’t understand probably think I’m crazy. “Why don’t you just look at ninja stuff while eating something sweet?” you might suggest. But it’s not that simple. Now, don’t get me wrong, here: watching The Last Samurai is undoubtedly better when I’m eating a maple bar. But it’s not nearly as good as it would be to watch a shot-for-shot remake of The Last Samurai where all the actors are replaced with maple bars. Which, by the way, will never happen. Because no one wants to fund it. And if you don’t believe me, just look at my failed Kickstarter page.
To be honest, I thought I was doomed. I thought I was destined to wander through this life, never seeing my true passion fulfilled. But then, just today, this shirt comes out! A NINJA DONUT!!!! It’s like someone read my mind and said, “We’re here for you. We’ve got your back, bud.” (Although, really if they’d read my mind they would know that I would prefer the donut to be alive and for us to have to fight to the death, him armed with a staff and me with my mouth.)
Wear this shirt: during the spring months, such as April.
Don’t wear this shirt: if seeing bakery sweets makes your eyes glaze over.
This shirt tells the world: “Donut mess me with me, dude.”
We call this color: Red-acious-owa-ungular
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