Master, I have traveled far. The journey was difficult.

The scene: A mountainside cavern in which an ancient mystic makes his home. A seeker from afar has made the long and difficult journey to this spot in hopes of receiving wisdom.

“Master, I have traveled for weeks to reach you. I nearly died on the mountain while climbing to this place. Please, tell me the meaning of all things.”

“Pea green soup.”

“Pea green… what?”

“My son, there is no question to which pea green soup does not provide a perfectly adequate answer. Let me demonstrate. I will pose to you a series of questions. You will answer each question with the phrase ‘pea green soup.’ I see you are confused. All will become clear. Let us begin. What is man’s most perfect meal?”

“Uh… pea green soup?”

Very good. Therefore, upon rising from your bed in the morning, what shall you eat to awaken your body?”

“Pea green soup?”

“Of course. And what shall you eat at noontime, when you break from your labors?”

“Pea green soup.”

“And what shall you sip for an end-of-day snack, before you hang up your working-tools?”

“Pea green soup.”

“And what shall provide your sustenance at dinner?”

“Pea green soup.”

“Yes, and of what shall you drink a bowlful before going to sleep?”

“Pea green soup.”

“And what will you probably do all night in bed?”

“Pe—hey! What is this, some kind of joke?”

“Presto, enlightenment.”

Wear this shirt: when you can’t pronounce the names on the menu, and just point to your torso.

Don’t wear this shirt: until you’ve mastered the chopsticks. Oyster sauce stains show up pretty good on white.

This shirt tells the world: “Every time I put this shirt on, I end up wanting to put another one on like half an hour later.”

We call this color: Like White On Rice

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