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Dystopia Dark Lager

by Blair Sayer

$19.00 + free shipping
Brown
Tee
Limit 15 per customer
  • Standard - Estimated delivery Jul 24 - Jul 26
  • Express - Estimated delivery Jul 23
  • Free Express shipping for Prime members

We Don’t Need Another Beer-o

A Whirlwind of Brewing, a Firestorm of Beer

Hey, beer fans; Max here. You know, besides gasoline and (I suppose) my own blood, there’s only one fluid I really can’t live without. That’s Dystopia Dark Lager. Nothing obliterates the psychic pain of horrific memories like ten or eleven Dystopias. And the flavor? Well, let’s not ruin a perfectly civil conversation by talking about that.

It’s a harsh world out there. We’ve all seen things we’d like to forget. In my case, multiple incidents of savage cruelty. In your case, maybe Waterworld. Dystopia rinses it all right out of your brain, quick as you can choke the stuff down! Take it from me: Once you’ve conditioned yourself to swallow a mouthful of Dystopia without involuntarily gagging, you’ll never drink another beer.

Maybe literally, since a mouthful of some of the bad batches exceeds the lethal dose.

Wear this shirt: to work at the pig-feces power plant. It’s brown, so the smears won’t show! They’ll stink, sure, but they won’t show.

Don’t wear this shirt: without leathers, unless you want road rash.

This shirt tells the world: “Given the choice between a frosty mug of Dystopia or sawing through my own ankle, I always take…

“Well, hang on, how big a mug are we talking about?”

We call this color: Bartertown Brown

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Features

Our graphic tees are made for all those days (see every day) that you need to get shirt done! Our professionally printed t-shirts are produced in-house to create an experience you will never forget.

Seriously, our t-shirts have been a graphic tee loving enthusiast's favorite since 2007. Our t-shirt designs are created by the best artists in the industry. We know that the combination of our t-shirts, exclusive design selection, world-class artists, and quality production, makes people smile.

Sizing Chart:

Please check our sizing chart before you order.

Classic T-Shirt Fit:

This shirt is made for those of you that like a looser fitting shirt (classic seemed appropriate)! This t-shirt is made from the finest ring spun cotton to make you look Woot-astic!

  • Standard fit (slightly boxy t-shirt, a little loose)
  • Fiber Content: 4.5 oz/yd 100% Combed ring spun cotton
  • Manufactured In: Honduras
  • Printed In: Carrollton, Texas, USA

Fitted T-Shirt Fit:

Our fitted t-shirts are made for those times when you want to feel slimmer — or when you want to go out on the town — or just because you like fitted shirts 'cause you're slim and stuff. This t-shirt is made from the finest ring spun cotton to make you look fit-astic (get it?)!

  • Fitted T-Shirt fit (narrower shoulder and body)
  • Fiber Content: 4.2 oz/yd 100% Combed ring spun cotton
  • Manufactured In: USA, Central America, Vietnam or Bangladesh
  • Printed In: Carrollton, Texas, USA

Specs

Sales Stats

Speed to First Woot:
0m 23.000s
First Sucker:
rlexm
Last Wooter to Woot:
theath1969

Purchaser Experience

  • 0% first woot
  • 96% second woot
  • 4% < 10 woots
  • 0% < 25 woots
  • 0% ≥ 25 woots

Purchaser Seniority

  • 4% joined today
  • 1% one week old
  • 2% one month old
  • 30% one year old
  • 63% > one year old

Quantity Breakdown

  • 96% bought 1
  • 4% bought 2
  • 0% bought 3 or more

Percentage of Sales Per Hour

17%
6%
3%
2%
2%
3%
6%
9%
11%
9%
8%
7%
4%
1%
1%
1%
1%
1%
1%
1%
1%
1%
1%
1%
12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11

Percentage of Sales Per Day

4%
6%
5%
74%
5%
3%
4%
Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat Sun

Woots by State

zero wooters wootinglots of wooters wooting

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Dystopia Dark Lager by Blair Sayer
$19.00 In Stock Apparel & Accessories
$19.00 USD false 1 Retail EA
1 15
Woot! Shirt.Woot
4121 International Pkwy Carollton TX 75007 U.S.A.