2nd place in Derby #236: Watercolors, with 663 votes!

“Alright, we’re all here, Wheeler. What’s going on?”

“Yeah, man, make it quick. I’ve got a lot to do in the hydroponic garden.”

“Seriously?”

“What? Oh whatever, you bunch of hypocrites. Everyone gets all high and mighty when I’m growing it, but no one seems to mind when it’s time to pass it around.”

“Check it, guys. I need to talk to you about Mati.”

“What about him?”

“Did that f&%*ing monkey s%^$ in my bed again? I swear to Gaia, I’m gonna ring up a tornado and blast that monkey into the g&%$&n stratosphere.”

“What do I look like, your laundry service? Check your own damn bed for monkey turds. No, I’m talking about the distribution of wealth in this organization.”

“What’s the big deal? Five Planeteers so we cut everything five ways.”

“Yeah, that’s what I’m talking about. That’s BS. I think Mati should only get half a share.”

“Hey, f&*% you, man!”

“Mati!”

“Yeah, you think I didn’t know about your secret little meeting? Oh yeah, everybody thinks poor ol’ Mati will just hang out in his bunk, playing with his monkey!”

“HAHAHA-”

“I meant SUCHI, you a&&%$*e! My ACTUAL pet monkey! How could you idiots think I wouldn’t know about this? My ring gives me friggin’ telepathy.”

“All I’m sayin’ is last week we were all in deep s%&^ takin’ on Dr. Blight, and NO ONE knew what to do until I whipped up a huge f&%&in’ fireball and blew her whole lab to kingdom come.”

“Then I was able to bring in some waves from the ocean and put out the fire.”

“And I buried the whole caustic mess with some sand.”

“And I carried the smoke up into the atmosphere before anyone could breathe it in.”

“And what did you do, Mati?”

“Okay, so on ONE job I didn’t have anything to do.”

“Yeah, what about the time before that with Mame Slaughter?”

“Well that was-”

“And that time Verminous Skumm was holding me hostage?”

“Well, Kwame got there before-”

“And when the Pinehead Brothers were-”

“Okay! OKAY! I get it! You know what?! FINE! Screw you guys! I’m outta here!”

“Wow, that was rough.”

“Yeah, but necessary.”

“Who’s gonna wear the heart ring now?”

“Who cares? Use it as a toe ring for all I care. We don’t need it.”

“I get his monkey.”

Wear this shirt: While making efforts to take pollution down to zero.

Don’t wear this shirt: If you’re not fighting on the planet’s side.

This shirt tells the world: “You can keep the good vibes and feelings and crap. I’m a person of action.”

We call this color: The creme is yours!

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