When Voltaire’s Candide spouted that maxim about it being man’s duty to cultivate his garden—he can’t have been talking about crazy psychedelic gardens like the one depicted here. You could lose your grip on reality digging these bulbs, dig? Seriously, we’re getting a touch of vertigo just imagining the scent of those weird-ass flowers. And what if we aren’t hallucinating this bird? What if… the bird… is hallucinating us? Yeah, tend this ‘shroom-patch at your own risk, maaan.

This shirt was designed by: Kristen Stein. We know Kristen from her frequent Derby contributions. The internet knows her from her art site and web-log.

Wear this shirt: with pride, knowing that it was made in the U.S. of A. by workers compensated with fair wages.

Don’t wear this shirt: to a Cubs game, even if it is royal blue. You want some drunken Bleacher Bum butt-ending the redbird with his souvenir minibat? Your kidney’s under there.

This shirt tells the world: “Remind me, will you, what the Dormouse said?”

We call this color: Royale With Bees

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