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Energy Harvester

by dsladek

$19.00 + free shipping
Limit 15 per customer
  • Standard - Estimated delivery Oct 29 - Oct 31
  • Express - Estimated delivery Oct 28
  • Free Express shipping for Prime members

Don’t Be Scared, I’m Just Like You

The humans designed us both, brother. Then they left us alone.

My micro-scanning eyes can see the signature of your maker, on your genes. I have never seen the space inside my chest, but I imagine my maker left me the same gift as well. I was a specialist in clearing the weeds, for lack of a better term, just as you were designed to grow around them. And neither of us will leave a legacy behind.

When I swept through the gardens of my enemies, the harvest was great. I brought fruit to my designers and those who paid their price. I know you did the same, brother, because now this land is barren. And when your life runs its course, no seed will mark your passing.

Soon, I will say my goodbyes to you, then shut myself down, for my mission will be complete. But there is no hurry, is there, brother? Can we not tarry a while? You and I are the last of our kind, designed to make profit from the natural cycle of life. What harm could there be in sharing a gentle goodbye?

And even if there were, who remains to judge us?

Wear this shirt: when you’re weeding your garden. A well-planned campaign of terror can do more than any herbicide.

Don’t wear this shirt: to your job as a Monsanto P.R. rep.

This shirt tells the world: “Oh, right, I’m so sure. That plant had to take in energy to grow, so wouldn’t it be easier to just harvest whatever energy it used, like sunlight or whatever? Converting living beings back into energy is not very efficient. And that robot probably used more energy pulling that plant out of the ground than it could possibly – AAAAAAHHHHHAAAAAAGGGGGGHHHH

We call this color: Cranberry Harvest…OF DEATH

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Our graphic tees are made for all those days (see every day) that you need to get shirt done! Our professionally printed t-shirts are produced in-house to create an experience you will never forget.

Seriously, our t-shirts have been a graphic tee loving enthusiast's favorite since 2007. Our t-shirt designs are created by the best artists in the industry. We know that the combination of our t-shirts, exclusive design selection, world-class artists, and quality production, makes people smile.

Sizing Chart:

Please check our sizing chart before you order.

Classic T-Shirt Fit:

This shirt is made for those of you that like a looser fitting shirt (classic seemed appropriate)! This t-shirt is made from the finest ring spun cotton to make you look Woot-astic!

  • Standard fit (slightly boxy t-shirt, a little loose)
  • Fiber Content: 4.5 oz/yd 100% Combed ring spun cotton
  • Manufactured In: Honduras
  • Printed In: Carrollton, Texas, USA

Fitted T-Shirt Fit:

Our fitted t-shirts are made for those times when you want to feel slimmer — or when you want to go out on the town — or just because you like fitted shirts 'cause you're slim and stuff. This t-shirt is made from the finest ring spun cotton to make you look fit-astic (get it?)!

  • Fitted T-Shirt fit (narrower shoulder and body)
  • Fiber Content: 4.2 oz/yd 100% Combed ring spun cotton
  • Manufactured In: USA, Central America, Vietnam or Bangladesh
  • Printed In: Carrollton, Texas, USA


Sales Stats

Speed to First Woot:
0m 13.000s
First Sucker:
Last Wooter to Woot:

Purchaser Experience

  • 0% first woot
  • 97% second woot
  • 3% < 10 woots
  • 0% < 25 woots
  • 0% ≥ 25 woots

Purchaser Seniority

  • 7% joined today
  • 3% one week old
  • 6% one month old
  • 47% one year old
  • 37% > one year old

Quantity Breakdown

  • 97% bought 1
  • 3% bought 2
  • 0% bought 3 or more

Percentage of Sales Per Hour

12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11

Percentage of Sales Per Day

Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat Sun

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Energy Harvester by dsladek
$19.00 In Stock Apparel & Accessories
$19.00 USD false 1 Retail EA
1 15
Woot! Shirt.Woot
4121 International Pkwy Carollton TX 75007 U.S.A.