We’re too caught up in the frenzied celebration of our 10th birthday to write about today's product. Check out this refurbi- uh, classic write-up.

The Geisel Go Crazy When They See This (June 2009)
Sam, if I could have a word?
This stuff you’re grilling—it’s absurd!
What would have been so bad about
Some plain old brats with sauerkraut?

You invite us over here,
You say “I’m set for meat; bring beer”
I guess this is the “meat” you meant?
This stinky, greenish excrement?

Hot dogs would have been OK
And I like chicken cooked this way
Or why not burgers made with cheese?
But no, you had to grill up THESE.

Dude, I’ve never seen green meat.
Is this what you want us to eat?
You have got some moxie, fella!
What if we get salmonella?

Of your green ham, I want none.
How do you know if it’s done?
What color is this stuff rare?
Do you know, Sam? Do you care?

This barbecue’s a big fiasco!
What is with this green tabasco?
And the eggs—what, they’re green, too?
Thanks but no thanks, Sam, screw you.

Back to top