If your life were a movie, what’d be on the soundtrack when you made your entrance into a scene?

We’re thinking maybe some sexy disco-era funk groove with a thumb-slapped, fuzzy bassline and a beat that makes the spectators’ hips wiggle in their stadium-style seats. Bowmp-chka-bowmp! We’re in slow motion now. Reaction shots of the extras taking notice—maybe someone even mouths the words “who’s that?” to someone else. Now hit it and quit it! Ba-damp! Bamp! Bamp! Begin dialogue.

Well, your life isn’t a movie. And the only soundtrack that accompanies your entrances is that weird noise your pants make as your thighs rub together. But that doesn’t mean you can’t still appear on the scene with at least a little style. We recommend wearing today’s shirt, with retro-hip graphics that’ll trigger an associative reaction in onlookers’ minds, kicking off a psychic funk-rock block like a telepathic DJ.

This shirt was designed by: Derby mainstay Nick Seluk, creator of the first-place Urban Meltdown shirt (still available), among others. Some of his other tasty creations are online at the Custom Artist.

Wear this shirt: to infuse your funk-deficient lifestyle with some much-needed sexification and get upbeat on the downbeat.

Don’t wear this shirt: if you have a nasty neck-pimple right where the arrows are pointing.

This shirt tells the world: “I can dig it.”

We call this color: Black Vinyl.

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