2nd place in Derby #235: Dubious Honors, with 587 votes!

In some cultures, hairballs are considered to be small chunks of a cat’s soul. Thus the expulsion of a hairball in the presence of a cat’s human owner is seen as an action showing tremendous trust and friendship, as if the cat is allowing his owner access to the deepest recesses of his heart. For this reason, people in such cultures will often bronze their cats’ hairballs and display them upon their mantles. THE MORE YOU KNOW!

By wiring cats with receptors and monitoring their brain waves, scientists have discerned that cats feel a wider range of emotions in the thirty seconds that it generally takes to expel a hairball than the average human will feel throughout the entirety of his or her divorce proceedings. THE MORE YOU KNOW!

In Southeast Asia, a research team has discovered a species of mollusk that looks and feels exactly like a cat’s hairball. The team has concluded that the species’ appearance is essential to its self-preservation since its diet consists primarily of processed wood pulp, i.e. paper towels. THE MORE YOU KNOW!

Wear this shirt: IF YOU LOVE CATS AND THEIR HAIR AND YOU JUST DON’T CARE (when they throw it up and ruin your carpet)!

Don’t wear this shirt: around someone who owns one of those hairless Sphynx cats; they’ll just scoff and act superior.

This shirt tells the world: “I am such a cat person that I’m willing to buy a shirt that advertises what is undoubtedly the worst part of owning one!”

We call this color: Olive? Seriously, is that a whole olive in there? Gross, Mr. Fluffkins!

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