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Evil Bike Is Evil

by Brett Waldon AKA SeedUvPain

$19.00 + free shipping
Limit 15 per customer
  • Standard - Estimated delivery Dec 14 - Dec 15
  • Express - Estimated delivery Dec 12
  • Free Express shipping for Prime members

We’re really starting to wonder about some of you.

Just what sort of warped lens do you view the world through?

It takes all kinds to make the world go ‘round. And what one person likes plenty of other people will find flawed. Art is subjective and we don’t judge. But we’re really wondering about the thought processes some of you seem to have.

Today’s shirt is a great example. First 90% of the people who buy this clicked on it as soon as they saw a mustache because some bizarre knee-jerk hipster-internet reaction forced them to do so. “MUSTACHE,” their brain chemically screamed at their body, “MUSTACHE HAS BEEN DEEMED IRONICALLY ACCEPTABLE BY THE MIASMA OF HIPSTER CULTURE TO WHICH WE VEHEMENTLY SUBSCRIBE WHILE MAINTAINING IRONIC DETACHMENT. OWNERSHIP AND DISPLAY OF MUSTACHE WILL INCREASE OUR SOCIAL STANDING AMONG THE COMPLETELY-SELF-ABSORBED-DISGUISED-AS-EARNEST PEOPLE WE ASSOCIATE WITH.” And their little fingers clicked on the mouse like a pigeon pushing a button in a lab for a cracker.

So okay. If you’re really into the “mustache movement” or whatever we’re calling that ridiculousness, fine. You like mustaches so much you’re willing to buy anything with a mustache on it. Great. But then it’s slapped on an old-timey penny-farthing. Okay…so it’s a handlebar mustache. So now we’ve got a pun shirt. Fine. That sort of thing happens here all the time. Why a penny-farthing? Is that like a thing too? Old-timey high wheelers? Are they “ironic” too now?

And then it’s got an “ironic” sinister laugh, thrown on like some bizarre slapdash cherry on top of a sundae that couldn’t be bothered to care. So it’s a mustache, a handlebar mustache serving as handlebars to a bike, an old-timey high wheeler bike, with a corny menacing laugh like something out of a grainy, black and white movie where someone’s getting tied to train tracks. Uh, what?

Wear this shirt: On your “totally unique pop culture digest” YouTube show where you show clips of other popular things that happened in the hopes that someone will mistakenly click your link and increase your total views.

Don’t wear this shirt: If you’re going to come at me with some bizarre “you just don’t get it” explanation.

This shirt tells the world: “I, or more likely my parents, have entirely too much money.”

We call this color: Handlebar Heather Gray

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Our graphic tees are made for all those days (see every day) that you need to get shirt done! Our professionally printed t-shirts are produced in-house to create an experience you will never forget.

Seriously, our t-shirts have been a graphic tee loving enthusiast's favorite since 2007. Our t-shirt designs are created by the best artists in the industry. We know that the combination of our t-shirts, exclusive design selection, world-class artists, and quality production, makes people smile.

Sizing Chart:

Please check our sizing chart before you order.

Classic T-Shirt Fit:

This shirt is made for those of you that like a looser fitting shirt (classic seemed appropriate)! This t-shirt is made from the finest ring spun cotton to make you look Woot-astic!

  • Standard fit (slightly boxy t-shirt, a little loose)
  • Fiber Content: 4.5 oz/yd 100% Combed ring spun cotton
  • Manufactured In: Honduras
  • Printed In: Carrollton, Texas, USA

Fitted T-Shirt Fit:

Our fitted t-shirts are made for those times when you want to feel slimmer — or when you want to go out on the town — or just because you like fitted shirts 'cause you're slim and stuff. This t-shirt is made from the finest ring spun cotton to make you look fit-astic (get it?)!

  • Fitted T-Shirt fit (narrower shoulder and body)
  • Fiber Content: 4.2 oz/yd 100% Combed ring spun cotton
  • Manufactured In: USA, Central America, Vietnam or Bangladesh
  • Printed In: Carrollton, Texas, USA


Sales Stats

Speed to First Woot:
0m 14.000s
First Sucker:
Last Wooter to Woot:

Purchaser Experience

  • 0% first woot
  • 94% second woot
  • 6% < 10 woots
  • 0% < 25 woots
  • 0% ≥ 25 woots

Purchaser Seniority

  • 14% joined today
  • 1% one week old
  • 3% one month old
  • 19% one year old
  • 63% > one year old

Quantity Breakdown

  • 94% bought 1
  • 5% bought 2
  • 1% bought 3 or more

Percentage of Sales Per Hour

12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11

Percentage of Sales Per Day

Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat Sun

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Evil Bike Is Evil by Brett Waldon AKA SeedUvPain
$19.00 In Stock Apparel & Accessories
$19.00 USD false 1 Retail EA
1 15
Woot! Shirt.Woot
4121 International Pkwy Carollton TX 75007 U.S.A.