Is It Ironic That This Shirt Came In Third?
It's Memorial Day Weekend and we're not working. All orders will ship Tuesday May 27th.
3rd place in Derby #43: Slogans, with 386 votes!
For
some reason, everyone who tells the story of The Tortoise And The Hare
ends it with “because slow and steady wins the race” instead of the
more accurate moral, “when you’re comfortably in the lead don’t be an
idiot and take breaks to allow the guy behind you to catch up.”
If
you really look at it, that’s really what the story is about. It’s like
a fairy tale version of Oliver Stone’s Wall Street. You think Donald
Trump would say “Oh, I’m so far ahead, I think I’ll take a nap for a
few hours”? You think Michael Jordan would say “Wow, I should stop for
dinner at the halfway point instead of just eating after the race with
my team the way we planned last night”? You can talk about persistence
all you want, but face it, “slow and steady” is never going to help you
beat that nine foot tall Kenyan dude who has a stride the size of two
Danny DeVitos.
This shirt was designed by:
haxrox, who drew each letter by hand onto a parchment template, then
transferred the template to woodcuts, which he then filled with ink and
pressed onto a different sheet of parchment. After allowing it to try,
he transfered it to canvas and shipped the final product to a team of
thirteen monks that began the process of hand-lettering each shirt.
Dude, just download OpenOffice, it’s free.
Wear this shirt: around your pet turtles. Remind ‘em who’s in charge. An uppity turtle is a problem waiting to happen.
Don’t wear this shirt:
when you’re a high schooler going to meet a girl’s father before her
very first date ever. Take it from us old folks, sometimes “slow and
steady” keeps you from being shot in the face.
This shirt tells the world: “I really prefer the story of The Fox And The Grapes.”
We call this color: Philip Grass. No music says “slow and steady” quite like his does.
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