I've discovered a way to grow music in test tubes, thereby eliminating the need for Taylor Swift.

Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for your time and attention. I am here today to announce that, after years of research, I have developed a way to transmutationally generate, or "grow," music in test tubes, thereby eliminating the need for musicians and human creativity. This will permanently alter the course of human culture, ingenuity, and experience. I will now take your questions.

"What does the music sound like?"

The music generated covers a wide array of tonal qualities, but for the most part sounds a lot like Willie Nelson. The old stuff, though; the good stuff.

"How do you respond to critics who say this development will discourage future generations from striving to create and express themselves through one of the oldest and most timeless human endeavors?"

How would I respond? I would respond that we're living in a world with Justin Bieber, Nickelback, and Nicki Minaj. Humanity had its chance.

Wear this shirt: To that bizarre Music Theory/Biology Combo Class you signed up for without researching it.

Don't wear this shirt: If you don't like explaining the title to people who won't get it.

This shirt tells the world: "Yeah, now that you mention it it IS just the same note over and over again."

We call this color: Grassroots Folk

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