If there’s one thing that people get passionate about, it’s food. So rest assured, even though your average fast food dinner is to health what the Star Wars Prequels are to cinema, there is still going to be a person who gets ragin’ mad about this shirt. Hey, some fans still swear that the lava battle was cool. No accounting for taste, is there?

But let this serve as a reminder. Sure, it’s tasty when it’s fresh off the grill, but if you live by nothing but your passions, you’re living the life of a pirate. Does that sound cool? Cause most pirates died horribly before they reached their thirties and never once held a position of authority or held a treasure of their own. But YARRR BAR-BE-QUE SAUCE YARRRRR

Wear this shirt: if you were a Vietnam vet who saw your family killed by cheeseburgers and now you stalk them in a one-man war against the forces of poor nutrition, taking no prisoners and showing no mercy. Word of advice, keep the movie rights.

Don’t wear this shirt: if you’re the sort of person with the sort of diet that would make a zombie goat say “Dude, how can you eat like that?” Just go back to guzzling your bacon and ranch smoothie and watching those Xena reruns. Maybe one day we’ll meet in Heaven.

This shirt tells the world: a cascading series of very different things, depending on what size you’re wearing.

We call this color: Working too hard can give you a heart attackblackblackblackblackblack

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