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Faster, Higher, Stronger, Aimier

by tgentry

$19.00 + free shipping
Asphalt
Tee
Limit 15 per customer
  • Standard - Estimated delivery Jul 20 - Jul 21
  • Free Express shipping for Prime members
Delivery Update: To keep our associates safe, we have temporarily paused production of all Woot! Shirt apparel. Please note that our estimated delivery dates have been extended accordingly. When production resumes, we will reinstate our traditional delivery estimates.

As per our standard process, we charge all methods of payment at the time of purchase. You may cancel your order at any time prior to shipment for a full refund by contacting Woot! Customer Service.

Splinter Of The Mind’s Eye

2nd place in Derby #135: Faster, Higher, Stronger, with 792 votes!

“Too precise”? Did you really say “too precise”? Listen, farmboy, I understand you’re a little upset about your pal Burt Reynolds flying off to stop Space Hitler, but let’s be honest about this. There’s nothing about these guys that “too precise” can possibly be applied to.

Yeah, okay, I’ll accept that you’ve bought into the propaganda. I’m sure when you bust out the shortwave and listen to “Jabba’s Bandstand” on Voice Of The Empire every Sunday night you think “Gosh! How could I stand up to an endless wave of blaster fire!” But once you actually get off this dirtball of a planet, you’re going to see how things really work.

For example, would a team of people that are “too precise” completely miss two guys and a seven foot carpet running across an empty hangar to get into a ship the size of a small hotel? Or would these “too precise” soldiers decide that no one could ever shoot a little exhaust port that goes right to the reactor? Or would “too precise” completely fail to hit a man and a woman swinging from a rope towards a single exit while holding both the higher AND the lower ground? Seriously, just aim for the door and wait!

Yeah, it’s sad about your aunt and uncle, but come on. You don’t see Spider-Man saying “That burglar was smarter than Reed Richards and stronger than the Hulk, otherwise Uncle Ben would have beaten him right away!” Just accept reality, kid. You’re part of a family full of losers. “Too precise.” Sheesh.

Wear this shirt: when you’re not at your post.

Don’t wear this shirt: to visit your opthamologist. It might seem like a threat.

This shirt tells the world: “He’s such a little trooper.”

We call this color: No, See, Asphalt Jedi Get To Use Lightning And Strangle People But Then They Also Turn Into Happy Blue Ghosts When They Die, It’s All In The Expanded Universe, Try To Keep Up

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Features

Our graphic tees are made for every day that you need to get shirt done! Seriously, our t-shirts have been a graphic tee loving enthusiast's favorite since 2007. Our shirts are printed in the USA and every time you buy a shirt, one of our talented artists gets paid!

T-Shirts

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Women’s V-Necks

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Tank Tops

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Long Sleeves

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Pullover Hoodies

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Crewneck Sweatshirts

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Zip Hoodies

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Raglans

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Specs

Sales Stats

Speed to First Woot:
0m 19.000s
First Sucker:
x0083144
Last Wooter to Woot:
Wooter708395114

Purchaser Experience

  • 0% first woot
  • 93% second woot
  • 7% < 10 woots
  • 0% < 25 woots
  • 0% ≥ 25 woots

Purchaser Seniority

  • 8% joined today
  • 1% one week old
  • 3% one month old
  • 27% one year old
  • 60% > one year old

Quantity Breakdown

  • 93% bought 1
  • 5% bought 2
  • 1% bought 3 or more

Percentage of Sales Per Hour

16%
7%
4%
3%
2%
2%
3%
4%
6%
7%
7%
6%
6%
5%
8%
5%
1%
1%
1%
1%
1%
2%
2%
1%
12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11

Percentage of Sales Per Day

5%
3%
10%
4%
3%
71%
4%
Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat Sun

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Faster, Higher, Stronger, Aimier by tgentry
$19.00 In Stock Apparel & Accessories
$19.00 USD false 1 Retail EA
1 15
Woot! Shirt.Woot
4121 International Pkwy Carollton TX 75007 U.S.A.