2nd place in Derby #65: Shirt as Costume, with 946 votes!

And so, hidden under the table, Jack heard the giant. The second the giant left the room, Jack ran for the giant’s safe.

“Three, Five, Four, One.” Jack whispered as he turned the dial. The safe opened easily. For Jack had learned a valuable lesson in social engineering from that man who bought his cow, and he was not about to waste it.

Jack grabbed the magic harp and ran for the kitchen. The giant’s cheesesteak would certainly more than replace his cow and redeem him in the eyes of the village All he had to do… was survive. Needle in hand, Jack began to climb, preparing himself for the final battle.

And that was when the giant had his third and final heart attack. Remember, cheesesteaks can kill. Take it from Jack.

This shirt was designed by: tgentry, who has done so many different shirts we have lost count. Remember that one you liked so much that he did? No, not that one with the coconut. Jeez.

Wear this shirt: to remind yourself that no matter how prepared you may be, there’s always a way for some fool to screw you up.

Don’t wear this shirt: on the floor of the International Commodities Exchange. They’re very serious about that dress code and you won’t be allowed to execute any cow-for-bean trades without a tie.

This shirt tells the world: “My bread probably contains animal byproduct and is therefore not suitable for vegans.”

We call this color: Clinical Data Shows That The Olive Should Be A Regular Part Of A Heart-Friendly Diet

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