Ah, high art. Like hot marshmallow on the S’mores of culture. Or should that be s’Mores? Everyone’s capitalizing the second letter these days. Look at that little face in the box. Could it symbolize man’s struggle to free himself from the bird-soul that prevents him from being his own deity? Or maybe that stand at the bottom implies that we are all still children parking our bicycles outside the convenience store as we drink from the Slurpees that we can never redrink, living in a fragile moment we do not treasure until it has already flown away, like a sparrow made from soap bubbles. How could you wash the car in this, you savage? And where’s the caviar waiter?

This shirt was designed by: James Kaufmann. He’s a real artist and we know this because his bio was two full paragraphs so we don’t have any room to make jokes about him here. His work will be appearing in an upcoming book, to be published in the UK, and he’ll be showing at the Lasso Gallery in June 2008. James sends “mail art” all over the world, using ink pen or acrylic paint on disgarded book covers. He is currently designing baby clothes and other delights. He lives in Iowa City, Iowa and has headlined a mail art show in Nashville, Tennessee.

To celebrate James’ passion for mail art we’ll be sending the original art for this shirt to the very first person to buy one! Plus keep in mind that James has a wife, two kids, three dogs, and tells us he has returned to art after thirty years away. This means he’s old and could die at any second, at which point his art will go up in value. Sorry, James, but art is about accepting the harsh truths. At least they’ll remember you fondly.

Wear this shirt: when you go visit the small galleries in your area to see the works of the up-and-coming. They might not say “nice shirt!” but after you leave it will be all they’ll talk about.

Don’t wear this shirt: if you’re looking for a velvet tapestry of a panther in a thunderstorm to go with your leopard print sheets. You’re the Pegasus and we’re the Farragut, baby, we’re in two different worlds.

This shirt tells the world: “I would not be caught dead in a shirt with a pirate monkey ninja on the front.”

We call this color: Creme of the Kröp

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