Hey, Bill. Heard you finally found a job! How’s it working out?
The new job? I, uh, I don’t really like to talk about it.
It’s fine, I guess. It’s more money and better benefits than my last gig, anyway. In a way, I guess I’m pretty lucky to have gotten it, especially in this economy and with that stupid theatre degree of mine. I just thought it’d be different than what it is. I guess maybe I should’ve asked more questions during the interview process. I just figured when the ad said I’d be helping to guide aircraft in for a landing it meant more “traditional” aircraft. Planes. Charter jets. Helicopters, maybe.
I mean, sure, I knew what they do at MutoCorp. I’m not stupid. I figured I’d see some pretty crazy stuff, but this… It’s just really stressful. And I keep thinking I’ll just get used to it, but the adjustment to having great flying armored beasts fly at you day after day is pretty severe. The mouse gray jumpsuit doesn’t exactly instill me with confidence, either. Every time one of those avian monstrosities comes swooping in to Branch 47, I just keep thinking “Please don’t think I’m dinner please don’t think I’m dinner please don’t think I’m dinner”. I’ll be honest, I don’t think I’ve slept more than an hour at a time since I started. All I hear is their awful piercing screeches in my nightmares.
Quit? No way, man, I can’t quit. It was hard enough finding THIS job, much less any other. I promised the wife we’d try to get pregnant this year, too, and there’s no way we can do that with me unemployed. It’ll be fine. If I stick with it and do my best, maybe I can move up to Laser Squid Containment. I hear those guys live the sweet life.
Wear this shirt: around birds of a feather. They tend to flock together.
Don’t wear this shirt: to a midnight showing of Hitchcock’s “The Birds”.
This shirt tells the world: “Fast bird? You’ve never heard of the Extremely Large And Heavily Armored Falcon?”
We call this color: Feather Heather Gray
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