2nd place in Derby #205: Mexico, with 736 votes!
“You think you’re so important? Show me the animal or plant that can live without water. You can’t! Everything needs water! Without me there’d be NO LIFE ON EARTH!”
“Uh, hello? Ever heard of a little thing called THE SUN? What do you think the sun is? That’s right – fire! Without me, there’s no Earth to- to- to not have life on!”
“What? The sun is totally not fire. It’s, like, gas or something.”
“Yeah, it’s gas ON FIRE.”
“All I know is, nobody ever says ‘man, I could use a nice tall glass of fire right now.’”
“Well, all I know is, there’s no such thing as a hydromaniac. Fire, on the other hand, is so irresistible to so many people, they had to come up with a name for those people.”
“Exactly! That condition needs a name because it’s so bizarre. There’s also a name for people who love water: EVERYBODY!”
“OK, fine. Try to fry yourself up a jaguar flank without fire. Hope you enjoy intestinal parasites! And not to mention, you need volcanic eruptions every once in a while to wipe out this world and replace it with a new one.”
“Why bother, when floods are so much better at destroying the world?”
“Knock it off, you two! If I have to descend to the physical plane to straighten this out, you’re both gonna be sorry!” Elements, huh? They’re so cute when you create them…
Wear this shirt: on December 22, 2012. Who knows? Maybe it’ll get you raptured.
Don’t wear this shirt: to a James Taylor show. Unless you’re not worried about looking like a cheeseball. In which case you probably wouldn’t be at a James Taylor show in the first place. So forget we said anything.
This shirt tells the world: “Agua’ and ‘fuego’ represent about 30% of my working Spanish vocabulary. The rest is mostly about tacos.”
We call this color: Aztecphalt.
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