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Forget Chopsticks…

by acobjoe & jamiedodger

$19.00 + free shipping
Limit 15 per customer
  • Standard - Estimated delivery Oct 24 - Oct 26
  • Express - Estimated delivery Oct 23
  • Free Express shipping for Prime members

And They Have Bart Simpson Hair Too

3rd place in Derby #112: Japan, with 835 votes

Hello, I’m Ken Kensan from the Chopstick Advisory Council. Of course, we all enjoy sporks and the humor they bring, and we all can agree they have their place. But that place ends where chopsticks begin. Don’t believe me? Consider the following.

First, imagine a wise old master in his dojo. He teaches his students to better themselves each and every day. Now he sees a fly. With lightning reflexes he grabs into the air, catching it… with a spork? No way. A master like that would be shamed. He’d be reduced to taking minor entertainment jobs in cheap National Lampoon movies as “third guy who gets hit in testicles” or “eighth ninja from left who gets hit in testicles”.

Now picture a scholar. He is debating the finer points of political theory with his colleagues. He goes to make a point while holding his next bite of chicken. With chopsticks, this is easy, and classy looking too! But with a spork, the scholar’s now lost his lunch, and the colleagues need new shirts.

These are just two of the many examples which illustrate why, if you absolutely need new chopsticks, you should just go out and buy new chopsticks! Please remember: the spork is a tool, but chopsticks are a way of life. Thanks for your time.

Wear this shirt: if you’ve ever gone to a KFC with red marker and a green marker and grabbed a bunch of their plastic cutlery and made a bouquet of tulips for someone you care about. Also if you use that idea, you have to buy a shirt or else we can sue you for piracy.

Don’t wear this shirt: if you’re just spork curious. A shirt like this makes a real statement about what you want to put in your mouth.

This shirt tells the world: “Are you mothersporkers ready? For the new stick?

We call this color: Better Fed Than Red

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Our graphic tees are made for all those days (see every day) that you need to get shirt done! Our professionally printed t-shirts are produced in-house to create an experience you will never forget.

Seriously, our t-shirts have been a graphic tee loving enthusiast's favorite since 2007. Our t-shirt designs are created by the best artists in the industry. We know that the combination of our t-shirts, exclusive design selection, world-class artists, and quality production, makes people smile.

Sizing Chart:

Please check our sizing chart before you order.

Classic T-Shirt Fit:

This shirt is made for those of you that like a looser fitting shirt (classic seemed appropriate)! This t-shirt is made from the finest ring spun cotton to make you look Woot-astic!

  • Standard fit (slightly boxy t-shirt, a little loose)
  • Fiber Content: 4.5 oz/yd 100% Combed ring spun cotton
  • Manufactured In: Honduras
  • Printed In: Carrollton, Texas, USA

Fitted T-Shirt Fit:

Our fitted t-shirts are made for those times when you want to feel slimmer — or when you want to go out on the town — or just because you like fitted shirts 'cause you're slim and stuff. This t-shirt is made from the finest ring spun cotton to make you look fit-astic (get it?)!

  • Fitted T-Shirt fit (narrower shoulder and body)
  • Fiber Content: 4.2 oz/yd 100% Combed ring spun cotton
  • Manufactured In: USA, Central America, Vietnam or Bangladesh
  • Printed In: Carrollton, Texas, USA


Sales Stats

Speed to First Woot:
0m 3.000s
First Sucker:
Last Wooter to Woot:

Purchaser Experience

  • 0% first woot
  • 94% second woot
  • 6% < 10 woots
  • 0% < 25 woots
  • 0% ≥ 25 woots

Purchaser Seniority

  • 6% joined today
  • 1% one week old
  • 4% one month old
  • 35% one year old
  • 55% > one year old

Quantity Breakdown

  • 94% bought 1
  • 5% bought 2
  • 1% bought 3 or more

Percentage of Sales Per Hour

12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11

Percentage of Sales Per Day

Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat Sun

Woots by State

zero wooters wootinglots of wooters wooting

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Forget Chopsticks… by acobjoe & jamiedodger
$19.00 In Stock Apparel & Accessories
$19.00 USD false 1 Retail EA
1 15
Woot! Shirt.Woot
4121 International Pkwy Carollton TX 75007 U.S.A.