Hundreds of years ago, people would get up in the morning and walk to the center of town, where they would lower their buckets into the well and bring up water so that they could drink. Today, we get up in the morning and ride our bikes to the corner store where we can take bottles from the freezers so that we can drink. And also we pay for it. We’ve come so far!

But our water supply has so much to offer. All those drugs, flushed down the toilet. All those hormones from birth control and mood altering medications. Tiny shellfish and the occasional bit of metal from pipes our grandfathers made. You know what that makes a person? Strong.

So bring it on, aliens! We don’t need those cold germs this time. We’ve been drinking cow hormones for a couple of decades now! We’re a country of angry minotaurs, and we’re ready! Mooo! Moooooooo!

This shirt was designed by: jewelwing. who looks lovely but is probably too heavy to fly. Diamonds aren’t real aerodynamic, peacock.

Wear this shirt: when you’re going for a drink with Gregory Hines.

Don’t wear this shirt: if you’re a Dasani rep. There’s no need to give away all your trade secrets.

This shirt tells the world: “You know, for the same price we could just have a few beers…”

We call this color: Throwing Out The Baby Blue With The Bathwater

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