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Fuming Mad

by alanis

$19.00 + free shipping
Limit 15 per customer
  • Standard - Estimated delivery Jun 01 - Jun 03
  • Express - Estimated delivery May 31
  • Free Express shipping for Prime members

Stick This In Your Pipe

Retreat to an authorized smoking area, and smoke it

Call me a throwback, but I have an appreciation for the way things used to be. When times were simpler. When a gentleman could hold the door for a lady without risking a gender discrimination suit. When everyone wore hats, and you could trust your neighbor. And even if you couldn’t trust your neighbor, you knew why, because everybody knew everybody’s business from the endless, vicious gossip sessions at the Post Office or general store.

Back then, there were only four haircuts to choose from: Men’s Fancy, Men’s Plain, Women’s Fancy, and Women’s Extra-Fancy. Nowadays a trip to the barber is so confusing!

In my day, basketball players never showboated, because back then the game was about the fundamentals. And besides, how much showboating can you really do while shooting underhand in scrotum-revealing shorts? Basketball was humiliating back then, as it should be.

Kids coming up now, they’d never believe there was a time when you could discharge firearms on your own property without some pinhead from City Hall getting his shorts in a twist. They can’t imagine the freedom of being able to leave your front door unlocked, or your baby outside overnight, without worrying what might happen.

That’s what’s lost today: The basic pleasures we took for granted, but which went out of style somewhere along the way.

Like simply smoking a pipe.

Or going apoplectic with rage about the changing times, and screaming, screaming at the hippies on the television news until you have a stroke from hypertension.

Wear this shirt: with your smoking jacket. You know what, though? You’re smokin’ in ANY jacket.

Don’t wear this shirt: in airplane lavatories.

This shirt tells the world: “I’M MAD AS HELL AND I’M NOT GOING TO TOKE IT ANYMORE.”

We call this color: Asphyxialting

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Our graphic tees are made for all those days (see every day) that you need to get shirt done! Our professionally printed t-shirts are produced in-house to create an experience you will never forget.

Seriously, our t-shirts have been a graphic tee loving enthusiast's favorite since 2007. Our t-shirt designs are created by the best artists in the industry. We know that the combination of our t-shirts, exclusive design selection, world-class artists, and quality production, makes people smile.

Sizing Chart:

Please check our sizing chart before you order.

Classic T-Shirt Fit:

This shirt is made for those of you that like a looser fitting shirt (classic seemed appropriate)! This t-shirt is made from the finest ring spun cotton to make you look Woot-astic!

  • Standard fit (slightly boxy t-shirt, a little loose)
  • Fiber Content: 4.5 oz/yd 100% Combed ring spun cotton
  • Manufactured In: Honduras
  • Printed In: Carrollton, Texas, USA

Fitted T-Shirt Fit:

Our fitted t-shirts are made for those times when you want to feel slimmer — or when you want to go out on the town — or just because you like fitted shirts 'cause you're slim and stuff. This t-shirt is made from the finest ring spun cotton to make you look fit-astic (get it?)!

  • Fitted T-Shirt fit (narrower shoulder and body)
  • Fiber Content: 4.2 oz/yd 100% Combed ring spun cotton
  • Manufactured In: USA, Central America, Vietnam or Bangladesh
  • Printed In: Carrollton, Texas, USA


Sales Stats

Speed to First Woot:
0m 53.000s
First Sucker:
Last Wooter to Woot:

Purchaser Experience

  • 0% first woot
  • 95% second woot
  • 5% < 10 woots
  • 0% < 25 woots
  • 0% ≥ 25 woots

Purchaser Seniority

  • 10% joined today
  • 1% one week old
  • 3% one month old
  • 25% one year old
  • 60% > one year old

Quantity Breakdown

  • 95% bought 1
  • 4% bought 2
  • 1% bought 3 or more

Percentage of Sales Per Hour

12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11

Percentage of Sales Per Day

Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat Sun

Woots by State

zero wooters wootinglots of wooters wooting

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Fuming Mad by alanis
$19.00 In Stock Apparel & Accessories
$19.00 USD false 1 Retail EA
1 15
Woot! Shirt.Woot
4121 International Pkwy Carollton TX 75007 U.S.A.