Gamma Rays

by Steven Lefcourt

$19.00 + free shipping

Product Tee

Color Black

Style Tee

Size

Fit

Quantity Limit 15 per customer

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Standard - Estimated delivery Jan 4 - Jan 6
Express - Estimated delivery Dec 31 - Jan 3
Standard International - Estimated delivery Jan 9 - Jan 11
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The Civilian Applications of Gamma Rays

Sure, gamma rays make people huge and green and funny-talky, but what else can they do?

Hi, I'm Dr. Frederick Gamma Ray, inventor of the banana slicer. I have done extensive research on gamma rays and found that they do all sorts of things other than bigify and greenify:

- make your sandwich soggy

- turn milk into coffee

- melt pinecones

- make your couch smaller

- give you naked football dreams

- steal your wallet

- turn your hair into a pizza

- cheat at volleyball

- upgrade your software

- feel out a situation based on good vibes

- pick up dirt from your carpet or the ground

- put glitter on all your clothes

- turn your dog into a tractor

- convince your mom to buy a yacht

- make bowling easier

- sign you up for free shipping

- whisper longingly in your ear

- whisper longingly into your calves

- turn a regular rug into a flying rug and then into a stegosaurus

- fight the power

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