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Ghost Writer

by Jonah Block and Naolito

$19.00 + free shipping
Black
New
Tee
Limit 15 per customer
  • Standard - Estimated delivery Apr 29 - May 01
  • Express - Estimated delivery Apr 28
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A Glorious Career in Screenwriting Awaits me

A transcript of when I pitched my idea for a new movie in the Ghost Rider franchise to a big time executive.

Me: Okay, so Nicolas Cage is a writer, right? And he’s working this crappy temp job doing data-entry or something that’s super lame, right? Just to make enough money to get by while he works on his masterpiece.

Exec: I follow you so far.

Me: Okay, so he’s like, “I wish I didn’t have this stupid job! I need more time to work on my novel!” That’s when decides to sell his soul to the devil. In exchange for his soul, the devil lets him live for free. You know, like, just hang out and write all day.

Exec: Naturally.

Me: But there’s a twist. He must become the “Ghost Writer.” Like, he’s got the whole flaming skull. He’s hideous! He’s a monster!

Exec: Oh, I get it: it’ll be this struggle where his book becomes famous but he can never show his face! Maybe the Ghost Writer makes a pact with someone, kind of like a modern Cyrano thing where he’s feeding the guy what to say and he’s jealous because everyone thinks his stand-in is a genius?

Me: What, no way! That’s not what I’m saying at all. No, the movie would just be him in his room writing.

Exec: That’s it? There’s no action?

Me: No, there’s tons of action. You see, the first morning of his new writing-on-fire life he’s just getting settled at his desk, drinking his morning coffee, when all of the sudden he has, you know, to go.

Exec: He has to pee? That’s the action?

Me: Yeah! Because he’s the Ghost Writer, it’s all, like, you know...

Exec: No. I don’t know. What’s it like?

Me: Well he’s a flaming skeleton, so it’s like… not normal.

Exec: Not normal how?

Me: Like, it’s flames.

Exec: Flames?

Me: Yeah, flames! He pees flames.

Exec: That’s the only action in the whole thing? A scene of him peeing fire?

Me: Well, not exactly. That’s not the only action. Because, he sits back down, and now he’s thirsty again. So, he decides he’ll have a Diet Coke. And you know what Diet Coke leads to…

Exec: So it happens again? Right then?

Me: Yep.

Exec: So two back-to-back scenes of a Ghost Writer peeing fire? That’s what you’re here to pitch?

Me: No, no! Not just two scenes. Because you see, diet soda, coffee, those things dehydrate you! You’d need to drink some water after all that. And that’s just what Ghost Writer does, and so then obviously he has to…

Exec: No. Don’t say it.

Me: Don’t say what?

Exec: What you were about to say.

Me: That he pees again?

Exec: Yes that. Don’t say that.

Me: Okay. I won’t say it.

Exec: So does anything else happen.

Me: Other than…

Exec: Yes, other than that.

Me: Nope. Nothing else really happens.

Exec: Okay, well, I’m afraid your pitch’s a bit light on plot. A bunch of scenes of a guy peeing fire do not add up to a film.

Me: I understand.

Exec: So, for that reason, I regret to tell you that I can only offer you a budget of $340 million to produce it.

Wear this shirt: while you drive angry.

Don’t wear this shirt: if you only wear shirts made of wicker, man!

This shirt tells the world: “Someday I hope to write something that everyone in America will love and cherish, a national treasure, if you will.”

We call this color: Black. And Dark. Perhaps, even as dark as the arts practiced by a sorcerer’s apprentice.

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Features

Our graphic tees are made for all those days (see every day) that you need to get shirt done! Our professionally printed t-shirts are produced in-house to create an experience you will never forget.

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Sizing Chart:

Please check our sizing chart before you order.

Classic T-Shirt Fit:

This shirt is made for those of you that like a looser fitting shirt (classic seemed appropriate)! This t-shirt is made from the finest ring spun cotton to make you look Woot-astic!

  • Standard fit (slightly boxy t-shirt, a little loose)
  • Fiber Content: 4.5 oz/yd 100% Combed ring spun cotton
  • Manufactured In: Honduras
  • Printed In: Carrollton, Texas, USA

Fitted T-Shirt Fit:

Our fitted t-shirts are made for those times when you want to feel slimmer — or when you want to go out on the town — or just because you like fitted shirts 'cause you're slim and stuff. This t-shirt is made from the finest ring spun cotton to make you look fit-astic (get it?)!

  • Fitted T-Shirt fit (narrower shoulder and body)
  • Fiber Content: 4.2 oz/yd 100% Combed ring spun cotton
  • Manufactured In: USA, Central America, Vietnam or Bangladesh
  • Printed In: Carrollton, Texas, USA

Sales Stats

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First Sucker:
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Last Wooter to Woot:
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Purchaser Experience

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  • 95% second woot
  • 5% < 10 woots
  • 0% < 25 woots
  • 0% ≥ 25 woots

Purchaser Seniority

  • 6% joined today
  • 1% one week old
  • 3% one month old
  • 23% one year old
  • 67% > one year old

Quantity Breakdown

  • 95% bought 1
  • 4% bought 2
  • 1% bought 3 or more

Percentage of Sales Per Hour

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Percentage of Sales Per Day

2%
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Top Comments are discussion forum posts we have deemed worthy of your time. Listen, we get a lot of comments, and most of the time, it's pretty forgettable stuff; but sometimes you rise to the top like butterfat in milk. We don't recommend you base your self-worth on how often we feature your comments, but we don't expressly forbid it either.

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Ghost Writer by Jonah Block and Naolito
$19.00 In Stock Apparel & Accessories
$19.00 USD false 1 Retail EA
1 15
Woot! Shirt.Woot
4121 International Pkwy Carollton TX 75007 U.S.A.