2nd place in Derby #246: Animals Re-Enact History, with 664 votes!

“Jack. Jack. Jack! There’s a boat! Jack! Jack! There’s a boat, Jack!”

“Rose, you have to go to it. Go now, while you still have strength.”

“I won’t, Jack! Not without you! You’ve taught me so much. I don’t want to live without you!”

“Rose, I’ve been in this puddle for several minutes now. My tracheae and tubules are filled with water. I won’t make it, but you can.”

“But I won’t!”

“You will. You must. Rose, I love you with all my heart. The greatest gift you could give me is to honor my last request: live a full life, seize it with both hands and never let go. Live for both of us, and remember me.”

“Jack, I never dreamed I’d feel this way about anyone. Please don’t go.”

“You’re an aristocratic grasshopper. I’m a simple cricket who grifted and charmed his way onto a doomed puddle liner. But for these last few days, Rose, you’ve made it all worthwhile. All the struggles, all the days without so much as a rotten carrot to chew on, all the nights spent singing, lonely, out into the night sky. They all made me who I am, and they brought me to you.”

“Jack, I love you.”

“I love you too, Rose. And though my time ends shorter than I’d wanted, I wouldn’t change it one bit if it meant not meeting you. Now go. There’s a lifeboat. Chirp, Rose. Chirp like your life depends on it!”

“I’ll never let go, Jack! I’ll never let go!”

Wear this shirt: While charming the pants off an attractive member of whatever gender you’re into with your scamp-ish ways.

Don’t wear this shirt: While freezing to death in the middle of the ocean.

This shirt tells the world: “It’s been a privilege wearing this shirt with you gentlemen.”

We call this color: After this I’m gonna make a stupid 3D movie about some Royal Blue alien kitties that have sex via ponytail.

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