1st place in Derby #177: I Love The Arctic , with 865 votes!

You know the old saying? “Give a man a fish,” it goes, “and he’ll eat for a day.”

“But give a polar bear a narwhal, some 12 pound test line, a hook and a bucket, and he’ll harvest way more than his daily fish intake, creating a fish surplus, which may give him the leisure time he needs to pursue cultural interests not directly related to survival, like polar bear art and polar bear literature, or else put him in a position to sell his surplus fish on the open market, and use the profits to raise his standard of living.”

Yeah, our old man used to give us that line all the time. It was definitely one of his weirdest sayings.

Wear this shirt: to look cool. Get it? See, because “cool” has both a literal meaning, having to do with low temperature, and a slang one, having to do with being straight-up dope.

Don’t wear this shirt: ice fishing, unless you’re into hypothermia. Wilderness search and rescue specialists call cotton “death cloth”—or, more colorfully, “thermal-dynamic nudity” (William Forgey, Wilderness Medical Society President, in OUTSIDE magazine).

This shirt tells the world: “Ask me about my mercury levels.”

We call this color: One Fish, Two Fish, Royal Blue Fish

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