Are You The Kilmister?

A longstanding fixture on the Sumerian and Hittite music scenes, Vinz Clortho served as the front-entity for a number of horror-rock acts, including Death Creature and Zildrohoar-House, which reached the Top Twenty on the Hittite charts around 4850 B.C. with the Clortho-penned single “Roastin’ Shubs and Zulls.”

As a solo artist, Clortho still has dedicated cult followings around the world. His Scandanavian cult, for example, is rumored still to conduct human sacrifices in his honor, every nine years, during the Third of Shemu.

He is best known to American audiences as one half of Terror Dogs, the two-piece Gozerian tribute band he formed in the mid 1980s with Zuul the Gatekeeper. Terror Dogs played only one performance, a rooftop show at 55 Central Park West, but succeeded in attracting the attention of a huge audience.

Terror Dogs’ influential set included “Prepare for the Coming of Gozer,” “Dirtyin’ Up the Town,” and the number that became their signature anthem, “Destructor Form.”

Known as “The Keymaster” for his proficiency on keytar and synths, Clortho currently resides in another dimension. Though rumors of a Terror Dogs reunion show circulate regularly, Clortho has never offered any comment on the likelihood of such a venture.

Wear this shirt: with cotton candy and bubble wrap for that Slavitza Jovan look.

Don’t wear this shirt: during the rectification of the Vuldrini.

This shirt tells the world: “OK, who brought the War-Pig?”

We call this color: Blackletter

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