Look, officer, I understand the problem here, but this is official SPACE cop business. You wouldn’t understand.

Seriously, you’re not really writing that ticket, are you? I’m telling you, I gotta get back out there and patrol the streets before there’s a crisis. Well, okay, maybe not a crisis, but a pretty huge crossover event could break out at any moment if I don’t get back on the road PRONTO.

Yes, I know I can fly, but don’t you get it? There are red power rings now. That’s right. And you know what they use for their power? Rage! Sure, it sounds like some cosmic entity has run out of ideas, but that’s not the point. The point, my law enforcing friend, is this: Where do you think the highest concentration of rage occurs, officer? Can you imagine the chaos if every one of these people stuck in traffic received a red ring? THAT’S WHY I’M HERE.

Sigh. Yes, sir, even space cops need to be wearing their seat belts. Sorry. I guess I was too busy SAVING THE WORLD to remember. Just let me know when the court date is so that I can tell my space attorney.

Wear this shirt: while traveling cross-country with your arrow-shooting best buddy.

Don’t wear this shirt: trying to make it through an intersection on a yellow light.

This shirt tells the world: “In Morning Drive, in Rush Hour’s Night, no cutting-off shall escape my sight…”

We call this color: Asphalt-ians Of The Universe

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