It’s Death’s World; You’re Just a Squirrel
1st place in Derby #73: Optimism, with 1800 votes!
Hewwo widdle fuzzy fwiend! Aren’t you the sweetest widdle chubby widdle fuzzy-wuzzy-cutie-patootie! Look at that chubby-wubby belly! I just want to eat you up, you’re such a sweetie-petey! Yes you are! Oh, yes you are! Look at yoouuu!
Aww, is that for me? Did widdle fuzzy-wuzzy sweetie-pie bwing me a widdle nut? Did you bwing me a widdle acorn? Did you? Well, thank you vewwy much! Yes, thank you widdle fuzzy bubbeleh! Aren’t you the sweetest widdle fuzzy! Yes you are! Such a widdle sweetie! I wuv you, wittle fuzzy-poo! Oh yes I do! Oh yes I do!
Sigh! That’s the cutest thing ever. I wish I had a camera. It’s moments like these that make the death biz worthwhile.
Now come, squirrel; your time is at an end.
This shirt was designed by: ramyb, that mysterious figure who rode out of the east to conquer two Derbies in a row. You know, you can still buy last week’s winner, Two Fish Who Are Red And Blue.
Wear this shirt: to your summer job at your dad’s extermination and animal control company.
Don’t wear this shirt: to funerals. Except maybe squirrel funerals, where no one really cares what you wear, since they’re more occupied with the question of why you’re holding a funeral for a consarned squirrel.
This shirt tells the world: “Nuts to you, Death!”
We call this color: Acorny Pun Involving The Word Asphalt
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