Stupid navigation system. I swear this thing said I was only four years from Happiness a minute ago.

You are currently on College Road. Continue down College Road for four years to Finish Your Degree Street.

Recalculating…

Proceed down Rethink Your Major Street for three months toward Move Back In With Your Parents Boulevard. Turn Right on Move Back In With Your Parents Boulevard for six months towards the intersection of Dead End Job Road and Live With A Buddy Until You’re Back On Your Feet Lane. Proceed down Live With A Buddy Until You’re Back On Your Feet Lane for two years.

Recalculating…

Proceed down Stole Your Buddy’s Girlfriend Road. In one year turn right on Love Of Your Life Lane for three years, then turn right on Moving In Together Road. Continue down Moving In Together Road for two years toward Marital Bliss Lane.

Recalculating…

Turn left on Slept With An Ex Road for three months until you reach Drunken Despair. Turn right on Drunken Despair. Then, in one month, turn right on Get Your Life Straight Street.

Recalculating…

Wear this shirt: when you feel you’ve lost your way.

Don’t wear this shirt: if you’ve made all the right choices, experienced no adversity whatsoever, and are living a comfortable life surrounded by people who love and respect you, you lucky jerk.

This shirt tells the world: “It’s not just a scribble! It’s a metaphor for life!

We call this color: Turn Right at Royal Blue Street

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