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Here There Be Monsters

by jessisima

$19.00 + free shipping
Limit 15 per customer
  • Standard - Estimated delivery Mar 22 - Mar 24
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​1st Place in Derby #340: Double-Take Derby 23, with 147 votes!

The Lewis and Clark Corps of Discovery blazed into the unknown, untamed wilderness of the North American West at the dawn of the 19th century, and illuminated an enormous region thitherto a mystery to the United States government. (The American Indians, of course, had been there all along). 

They encountered many hazards on their journey, but two in particular challenged even them: (1) the ferocious grizzly bear and (2) the English language. Indeed, Meriwether Lewis's journal entry for the 29th of April, 1805, illuminates both these obstacles: 

[This is the real journal entry, not a joke]

Set out this morning at the usual hour; the wind was moderate; I walked on shore with one man. about 8 A. M. we fell in with two brown bear; both of which we wounded; one of them made his escape, the other after my firing on him pursued me seventy or eighty yards, but fortunately had been so badly wounded that he was unable to pursue so closely as to prevent my charging my gun; we again repeated our fir and killed him.  it was a male not fully grown, we estimated his weight at 300 lbs, not having the means of ascertaining it precisely. The legs of this bear are somewhat longer than those of the black, as are it's tallons and tusks incomparably larger and longer. the testicles, which in the black bear are placed pretty well back between the thyes and contained in one pouch like those of the dog and most quadrupeds, are in the yellow or brown bear placed much further forward, and are suspended in seperate pouches from two to four inches asunder; it's colour is yellowish brown, the eyes small, black, and piercing; the front of the fore legs near the feet is usually black; the fur is finer thicker and deeper than that of the black bear.    these are all the particulars in which this anamal appeared to me to differ from the black bear; it is a much more furious and formidable anamal, and will frequently pursue the hunter when wounded. it is asstonishing to see the wounds they will bear before they can be put to death. the Indians may well fear this anamal equiped as they generally are with their bows and arrows or indifferent fuzees, but in the hands of skillfull riflemen they are by no means as formidable or dangerous as they have been represented. 

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Our graphic tees are made for all those days (see every day) that you need to get shirt done! Our professionally printed t-shirts are produced in-house to create an experience you will never forget.

Seriously, our t-shirts have been a graphic tee loving enthusiast's favorite since 2007. Our t-shirt designs are created by the best artists in the industry. We know that the combination of our t-shirts, exclusive design selection, world-class artists, and quality production, makes people smile.

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Classic T-Shirt Fit:

This shirt is made for those of you that like a looser fitting shirt (classic seemed appropriate)! This t-shirt is made from the finest ring spun cotton to make you look Woot-astic!

  • Standard fit (slightly boxy t-shirt, a little loose)
  • Fiber Content: 4.5 oz/yd 100% Combed ring spun cotton
  • Manufactured In: Honduras
  • Printed In: Carrollton, Texas, USA

Fitted T-Shirt Fit:

Our fitted t-shirts are made for those times when you want to feel slimmer — or when you want to go out on the town — or just because you like fitted shirts 'cause you're slim and stuff. This t-shirt is made from the finest ring spun cotton to make you look fit-astic (get it?)!

  • Fitted T-Shirt fit (narrower shoulder and body)
  • Fiber Content: 4.2 oz/yd 100% Combed ring spun cotton
  • Manufactured In: USA, Central America, Vietnam or Bangladesh
  • Printed In: Carrollton, Texas, USA

Sales Stats

Speed to First Woot:
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Purchaser Experience

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  • 92% second woot
  • 8% < 10 woots
  • 0% < 25 woots
  • 0% ≥ 25 woots

Purchaser Seniority

  • 7% joined today
  • 0% one week old
  • 1% one month old
  • 12% one year old
  • 79% > one year old

Quantity Breakdown

  • 92% bought 1
  • 6% bought 2
  • 1% bought 3 or more

Percentage of Sales Per Hour

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Here There Be Monsters by jessisima
$19.00 In Stock Apparel & Accessories
$19.00 USD false 1 Retail EA
1 15
Woot! Shirt.Woot
4121 International Pkwy Carollton TX 75007 U.S.A.