You can have your slingshot back at the end of the school year, young man. Now pay attention.

Do you want to be one of those little hooligans who spends their days hacking at tall grass hoping to find money? Maybe you’re planning to fill your day by crashing into other people’s houses and breaking their pots, is that it? Look, I know that being an orphan is tough, but lashing out at me by ignoring the valuable lessons I am trying to teach you isn’t going to make anything better. This attitude of yours certainly won’t help the next time the king’s guards catch you sneaking into the royal garden again, I can tell you that.

Say you find yourself in some dark cavern someday. Would you even know how to subdue a Gohma if you encountered one? Hmm. Yes, I guess the big throbbing eye is sort of obvious. Okay, that’s a bad example, but mark my words, young man, one day you’re going to find yourself in a Water Temple and WISH you had paid a little more attention in class.

Are you even listening to me? UGH. Fine. If you want to daydream and play your ocarina all day, go ahead. Let’s see how far that gets you.

Wear this shirt: and hope it doesn’t give you a Tingle.

Don’t wear this shirt: if the one fairy you always wished you could trap in a bottle and never EVER let out again is the one the Deku Tree gave you.

This shirt tells the world: “Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and listen to your tiny magical friend once in a while, you might miss something.”

We call this color: 10th Enemy Has The Kelly Green

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