Here's some important information about the warrior known as the hipster ninja:

The hipster ninja is surprisingly nimble, despite his constricting skinny jeans.

The hipster ninja can be identified by his throwing stars, which are plastic, old, and ineffective, but weirdly stylish.

The hipster ninja only fights with the left hand. He needs his right to hold his cigarette.

Due to his poor hearing - broken down by too many lo-fi shows in too many basements with poor acoustics - he can often be snuck up on from behind.

Still, even if you manage to overtake him, don't let his PBR beer-gut fool you - he's actually very strong.

Wear this shirt: in the shadows.

Don't wear this shirt: if you're doing actual ninja stuff. You probably want something a bit darker.

This shirt tells the world: "I was into being a cold-hearted, stealthy warrior before it was cool."

We call this color: silver star of death!

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