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Holy Guacamole!

by walmazan

$19.00 + free shipping
Limit 15 per customer
  • Standard - Estimated delivery Dec 19 - Dec 20
  • Express - Estimated delivery Dec 18
  • Free Express shipping for Prime members

Cilantro? This Particular Recipe Don’t Call For No Stinking Cilantro

3rd place in Derby #147: Double-Take Derby Nine, with 592 votes!

When the sheriff and I finally arrived, the fight was over. The gruesome aftermath was like nothing I’d ever seen. The three avocados had been mashed into an almost unrecognizable pulp. Two jalapeño peppers were in there too, and they’d been minced up pretty good.

There was a clove of garlic that looked like he’d been put through a press. And a lime that’d gotten itself sliced clean in half. The juice from one half was squeezed out all over the place. A Roma tomato looked to have tried to come between the others and break it up, but only succeeded in getting hisself chopped to pieces.

A small white onion might’ve gotten the worst of it. He’d been quartered, can you believe that? Then one of the quarters was all minced up real fine.

I also saw a pinch of salt that I assume had just been in the wrong place at the wrong time, and got caught in the middle of it. And a teaspoon of olive oil. I still don’t know what that was doin’ there.

It was far too late to to help any of ‘em. They was done for, the whole gang. All there was left for the sheriff and me to do was fetch the corn chips.

Wear this shirt: as a base layer to keep your zarape from chafing your nipples.

Don’t wear this shirt: among the Aztecs, from whom we get the word “guacamole,” but to whom it means something like “testicle sauce.”

This shirt tells the world: “there’s a party in every bowl! If, by ‘party,’ you mean a brutal, knock-down, drag-out, no-holds-barred, bare-knuckles fight to the death.”

We call this color: Their Pulped Innards Had Gone Brown In The Desert Sun

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Our graphic tees are made for all those days (see every day) that you need to get shirt done! Our professionally printed t-shirts are produced in-house to create an experience you will never forget.

Seriously, our t-shirts have been a graphic tee loving enthusiast's favorite since 2007. Our t-shirt designs are created by the best artists in the industry. We know that the combination of our t-shirts, exclusive design selection, world-class artists, and quality production, makes people smile.

Sizing Chart:

Please check our sizing chart before you order.

Classic T-Shirt Fit:

This shirt is made for those of you that like a looser fitting shirt (classic seemed appropriate)! This t-shirt is made from the finest ring spun cotton to make you look Woot-astic!

  • Standard fit (slightly boxy t-shirt, a little loose)
  • Fiber Content: 4.5 oz/yd 100% Combed ring spun cotton
  • Manufactured In: Honduras
  • Printed In: Carrollton, Texas, USA

Fitted T-Shirt Fit:

Our fitted t-shirts are made for those times when you want to feel slimmer — or when you want to go out on the town — or just because you like fitted shirts 'cause you're slim and stuff. This t-shirt is made from the finest ring spun cotton to make you look fit-astic (get it?)!

  • Fitted T-Shirt fit (narrower shoulder and body)
  • Fiber Content: 4.2 oz/yd 100% Combed ring spun cotton
  • Manufactured In: USA, Central America, Vietnam or Bangladesh
  • Printed In: Carrollton, Texas, USA


Sales Stats

Speed to First Woot:
0m 37.000s
First Sucker:
Last Wooter to Woot:

Purchaser Experience

  • 0% first woot
  • 91% second woot
  • 9% < 10 woots
  • 0% < 25 woots
  • 0% ≥ 25 woots

Purchaser Seniority

  • 6% joined today
  • 1% one week old
  • 3% one month old
  • 26% one year old
  • 65% > one year old

Quantity Breakdown

  • 91% bought 1
  • 7% bought 2
  • 2% bought 3 or more

Percentage of Sales Per Hour

12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11

Percentage of Sales Per Day

Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat Sun

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Holy Guacamole! by walmazan
$19.00 In Stock Apparel & Accessories
$19.00 USD false 1 Retail EA
1 15
Woot! Shirt.Woot
4121 International Pkwy Carollton TX 75007 U.S.A.