Available in grocery store vending machines for fifty cents.

Tipsy Sloshbelch & Bill Scrubberson: A happy-go-lucky beer enthusiast. An obsessive neat freak. Can their friendship survive a treacherous voyage to Mars? Also, who let these guys on the ship?

Sam Mantic & Dr. Pedant: They’re educated and clever, sure, but for some reason nobody ever talks to this pair at parties.

Bear & Salmon: “What an unlikely friendship,” you’re thinking. “How whimsical!” In actuality, Bear and Salmon are just two shady guys who were wondering if you have a moment to discuss their MLM enterprise.

Mr. D’moron & The Peanut: Sure, they don’t have much in common. After all, Mr. D’moron is a successful accountant and The Peanut is a dry-roasted legume, but from the moment these two meet, you know they’re gonna be best friends for life. Incidentally, Mr. D’moron is severely allergic to his best friend.

The Selfie Twins: Two police detectives with really misguided priorities.

Nietzsche & Brad Cann-doo: A manic-depressive nihilist joins forces with a doggedly optimistic motivational speaker. This is gonna be one wacky bank heist!

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