3rd place in Derby #171 Meat, with 581 votes!

Here’s a question: Why are they playing coy about these “natural flavorings?” I mean, what is that stuff, actually? They could urinate in the meat vat and call that “natural flavoring.” Pee is natural. It probably has a flavor.

Whatever the “natural flavorings” are, they must be pretty revolting. They came clean on “beef lips,” after all, so they obviously think we’ve got a pretty high tolerance for nauseating ingredients. What could these “natural flavorings” be, that even the hot dog industry resorts to euphemism instead of naming them?

What is Big Weenie hiding!?

I wonder, man. Maybe it’s the juice from pressed babies. Or gasoline. Maybe they make a slurry of the runoff from the floor at the rendering plant, and ferment it. Or could “natural flavorings” just be the mold that grows on the walls of the meat-mixing tanks?

I suppose we may never know.

Oh, well. Whatever they are, they sure go great with yellow mustard.

Wear this shirt: on the tight side, like a natural casing.

Don’t wear this shirt: to the meeting of your book club where you’re scheduled to discuss THE OMNIVORE’S DILEMMA.

This shirt tells the world: “What’s a little sodium nitrite between friends?”

We call this color: Well I Had a Hot Dog and His Name Was Royal Blue

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